Getting out of self is the only way to recover. A smile, a kind word or gesture, helping out a friend and neighbor. Today I got out of me by helping some special people in my life by cleaning their house and helping them to clean. I don’t have much to offer but I do have my wisdom , strength , and experience. It’s how we get better. How we move on. How we change.
This is only a part of my journey.
If I had trouble believing in God before the events of the past week happened, I now know that He is there.
Everyone asks, “Why?’. Why did I start drinking heavily again? What am I covering up? I simply want to be me. The problem is, I don’t know who I am. That’s the purpose of this blog. To help me to discover who I am.
In the past 3 weeks, as a result direct of my drinking I have gotten a DWI, lost my job, totaled my car and been to jail. Now let me tell you were God comes in and how I found my faith again. My car is totaled but I am still alive. I got my job back. I went to jail and I got bonded out. If that is not God working in my life then I do not know what it is.
Have I had enough? Have I hit my bottom? Yes. I have had enough. Getting drunk doesn’t feel right anymore. I am changing. Sometimes it takes being totally broken to make a change. I am so blessed beyond my wildest dreams. I have a mother that reminds me daily of how much she loves me. I have a family , that while I am sure questions my choices, supports and loves me. A wonderful man named Leon who has been by my side through it all. A man that has truely changed my life. Who supports me, loves me and accepts me. Two beautiful children that fill my heart with more love and joy than I ever thought possible. An employer that has time and time again gave me one more chance. Friends that stick by me. People that believe in me. And a faith in God that I never knew possible.
You got to faith it till you make it. I am reading a book by Naomi Judd called Transparent Life. This statement stood out to me. When all seems lost and without hope. At times when I feel lost, hopeless, and worthless. On the days when I think it can’t possibly get any worse. Feeling like I am not good enough. Or worthy enough. And when I just feel like giving up. I got to faith it. And hold on with all my might. Faith it. Faith it till I make it.
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